reflections

10 May 2015 In: Days Go By

I was looking for some files on a computer and came across some really old stuff. We’re talking files from 2006 and 2007 that I thought I had deleted long ago. So long that I didn’t even know what the folder name meant. They served their purpose at the time and it’s been many years since I thought about the people they were about. I had to look up my scrapbook files to find this out, even, apparently it’s been almost 3 years since I thought of these people when I could swear that I saw one of them, in New Orleans in the same hotel we were staying at. If it wasn’t him, it had to be his identical twin – the guy even acted like he was trying to avoid being seen by us, he was clearly uncomfortable but by the time I did my double-take, he was gone. As a side note, that also means it’s been almost 3 years since I scrapbooked anything. I miss scrapbooking.

Opening that first unknown file brought back all the memories. I remember these two people and their friends, who a couple of months later I realized were actually fake personas, being very nasty to me, and going through these files confirmed what I remember as truth. They said some very horrible and untrue things to and about me “behind my back,” and not just me but others in my life, including young innocent children. Things that were made to appear as if they were in self defense of horrible things I had supposedly done (which, of course, I hadn’t). What kind of person does that?

Maybe it’s just me, but the good people in my life – my husband, my parents, etc. – they have always known when someone is toxic before I have. It was no different for these people. If you’re ever unsure what to think of someone, just ask your closest friends and family, someone near to you who doesn’t have a bias. It’s like that nonsense I had with my ex business partner about 2 years ago, everyone knew what a toxic person she was before I did but it wasn’t until things were over that most people started saying anything. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re out of that, she was nuts.” I couldn’t fit to count on my two hands how much I heard that in those coming months. Likewise, my husband knew how toxic this couple was and he was hesitant to spend time with them, but he did it for me.

Hindsight is 20/20, as they say, because it is so true.

Alone tonight with my thoughts and I miss what we had before the fallouts. We had so much in common, but having things in common isn’t enough to sustain a friendship. You have to both be, oh I don’t know, sane? It’s hard to maintain a friendship with someone who is completely self-centered, it just won’t last. In the end, those things always die off.

Yes, I did my passive aggressive part. Sure, it was the truth, but sometimes the truth doesn’t need to be put out there, sometimes we should keep it to ourselves. And even if you delete it later, it was still out there. That’s the only thing I did that I regret.

Maybe some day we’ll run into each other and maybe things will be different. Of course, the chances of that are nil but it’s nice to think about… sometimes… rarely… when you find files you thought you deleted. :D

amazon echo

14 Jan 2015 In: Days Go By

Ok so I love tech-y stuff but I’m not usually one to jump on bandwagons and go out and purchase the brand new thing. But Amazon knows me too well and I guess I’m just that awesome of a customer since I’d rather purchase stuff there on my Prime membership than get my butt and the kids and whatever out in the cold or heat and endure Walmart. But I digress. Anyway, some time ago I had an invitation to give the Amazon Echo a try and being a Prime member I only paid $99. I kinda forgot about it because it was some sort of pre-order thing but it came today (though if I recall, it’s even earlier than the date it said it would be). I had thought that something like this would be perfect for the main room in the house we are building though we’re not in it yet, I figured why not hook it up and give it a try?

This thing is awesome!

It was so easy to set up, I just had to take a few seconds to get the app on my phone and install it then pretty much just put in my wi-fi password. The phone found the Echo with it only having power, no buttons to push or anything.

I thought I’d try it out with a few questions and it was spot on and quick. The voice even sounds more human than my Google phone or Siri does. I asked it, “Alexa, when is sunset on January 18?” (This after trying, “when is sunset tonight?”) Echo answered that sunset on Sunday, January 18, 2015 is at 503pm. The photographer in me is going to use that A LOT.

We’ve done “Alexa, tell me a joke” a few times and it’s delivered a few funny one-liners.

Then I said, “Alexa, play me some Elvis Presley,” and I was in heaven…

Opening the app on my phone again showed me the last thing I said to it and it asked me if it heard me correctly (it had). This is something my Google phone would be wise to take note of. Ahem.

Only thing I’ve had to do so far was to change my zip code in the settings of the app. We’re usually incorrectly tagged as the one Echo had grabbed, probably from cell towers??

It sounds great, I can’t wait to have it in the new house.

six months gone

7 Jan 2015 In: Days Go By

Today marked the 6th month anniversary of her disappearance. I still can’t believe it. It’s still so unreal, it’s not really happening. I’ve had to turn off a lot of emotions or I’d be losing it all the time. K still points out her picture in the missing posters when she sees one. Sometimes she gets excited as if it means they found her. K doesn’t understand, but how can you expect a 5 year old to comprehend this when adults don’t get it either? I’ve even had little mini arguments about this with her – there’s a few ladies at church who have the same hair color and sometimes K insists that it’s her. I don’t like breaking the heart of a kid but we also can’t have her thinking these ladies are her, she was addressing one as such and that breaks everyone’s heart.

And the nasty people are still out there. I don’t understand why the internet makes people think that they can just say whatever they want to, no matter who they might hurt. These jerks don’t know the family or the friends yet they speak as if the ideas they have formed in their twisted little heads are true. They don’t see the husband losing too much weight because he’s still too upset to eat, having aged an extra 10 years. They don’t see friends who are holding back the tears because her name has popped into their heads for whatever reason. Maybe they don’t see that by trying to hurt the person they are assuming is guilty, they are hurting hundreds of other people, too. Nah, who am I kidding? Sure they see that. They just don’t care.

Maybe this is why I woke up ill today. I couldn’t face the day. I slept it away.

Six months.

I just can’t.

Coming again soon. This site is about to get an overhaul.


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