cheese knife update

Ahem. This thing on? Testing, testing… Okay. Here is Exhibit A, the knife in question. And, if you need a review… here and here

Okay, so according to my brother, they weren’t Secret Service, Mom says she was just exaggerating, but they were cops of some sort. I knew that already, of course. Like the Secret Service has time to do that.
Anyway, she says now that they went through her purse and the one pulled it out and looked at it and said, “Whooooaaaa.” And showed it to the other one who said, “wowww, uh, I can’t let you take that in there, Ma’am.”

We were at a family gathering today and out of the blue I suddenly hear from my grandpa’s wife: “What the heck did you have a knife in your purse for!?” My mom wasn’t paying attention, so I explained it to her real quick and before long everyone was talking about it. hehe.

Mom described it to Steve. She’s saying, “Oh, but nothing else cuts cheese like this, it’s really good. And it’s got this little thing where it can make slices, and it’s got a little point, here on the end, where you can spear stuff with it or something.” I’m about rolling on the floor laughing by this time, Steve says, “WOW, sounds dangerous.” And then he starts laughing.
But Steve about had a heart attack when Mom said it was costing her $12 to get another one, he says that he does indeed “have a pocket knife here that works just fine, too.”
I guess they thought she was going to hurl it at the President from the balcony with a “Tawanda” or something and poke out his eye.

Okay so this weekend’s another stupid one… well, not so bad I guess.

It started out stupid. As stated, we had a family gathering today. This was supposed to be last weekend, a surprise shower for my cousin and his fiance, but it got canceled with Grandma dying and her funeral being that day. I was told last Sunday, “it might be next Saturday, but I don’t know.” So when I didn’t hear anything all week, I assumed it was off for now.
It wasn’t.

I get a call from my mom this morning asking me if I’m going to be there. I’m like where? Arg. Thanks for calling me everyone.
So we made it, but it was such short notice, and we’re literally broke again until Friday, we only brought cards for now.
What is really stupid though is THEY’RE NOT GETTING MARRIED UNTIL JANUARY! Why the freak is this in July then, you ask? Who even freaking knows. Something about a certain someone not being able to throw a party any other time of the year (whatever, if we were all invited to the country for a weekend like we used to be, we’d all make it). So whatever.

But I guess it turned out okay because it was nice to see everyone. And I was apologized to for not being called, so that made everything a-okay.

One of my crabs died. Yeah well I assume he’s dead since he hasn’t moved in 48 hours now. Guess I’d better pitch him. This leaves me one, the original crab.

But I was so stressed by the time I got there because we were rushing and all and I left with Elijah before Steve. The deal was I was supposed to get to the halfway point, hit Walmart for some cards and Vanilla wafers for Elijah and then meet Steve at Hardee’s where he’d leave his truck. We did this because in his truck he goes slowwwwww with his BIG tires and he takes the old highway, and he had to get gas.

So I’m in Walmart with a crabby baby who apparently has what I had last week, poor thing. Steve phones the cell. I’m answering it at the same time I am putting the wafers in the cart. Elijah sees them go in. And he starts SCREAMING. Why you ask? Because I didn’t give him one! So right then and there I have to open the package and give the boy a ‘cookie.’

Then I try the new check-yourself-out (yeah you hottie) checkout lanes. BAD MISTAKE. Those things suck. They’re just as stupid, er slow as a real checker and it wouldn’t take my debit card. So then I have to print out this receipt and wait for a real person checker to scan that and take my money. The debit won’t work for her either (I think something happened to the strip) but she’s gotta keep trying. Then they have to get someone else so that they (yes, they by this time) can enter in the numbers manually. And of course, Elijah is crying through all of this and trying to get out of the cart to get to me. *sigh*
Then when I show up to get Steve, he’s not at his truck, but coming out of Hardee’s. He went into get a soda, and he didn’t get me anything. I hate Hardee’s. Did I mention I hate Hardee’s?

Then we’re driving up. Er, well, I am driving.
“Babe, you’re going 80.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Uh–”
“I’m going 83.”
So there, shut up.

Now I am at home, Steve’s at the races (yeah, that’s why we took two vehicles today) with T. I think I’m about ready to go to bed. I’ve just been screwing around. Elijah played for a long time by himself, he was happy to after not being able to do anything at the park and even falling asleep there (I was SO shocked, he’s usually so hard to get to sleep somewhere else, but he fell right asleep on my shoulder).

Last night we went cruising. Yeah, my 27 year old husband with his 22 year old wife and baby in the backseat, and he was playing symphony music this time. WHY? I have no stinking idea, he never listens to that stuff. But he changed it after a few mintues. But all-in-all, how pathetic is that?
I still ♥ him, crazy cruising or no.

Now, who in the heck has actually read to the end of this entry? Raise of hands now. You, you in the back row, did you read to the end?
“No, I – uh – I have to go to the bathroom.”
Then go. Dangit.