a perfect day for a funeral

It was a Sunday. We stood there, on the hill, in the mud. The wind was blowing harder than I have ever had the privilege of feeling. The children cried because the wind was in their face, the trees rocked incredibly making one think they were going to fall over, and we stood.

We stood in dresses and pretty shirts, in suits and ties.

We stood, ten adults, six children, eight males, eight females, two great-grandparents, four grandparents, ten parents, eight aunts, eight uncles, eight nephews, eight nieces, seven brothers, eight sisters, and sixteen cousins. We stood and mourned the loss of our littlest one: a son, a grandson, a great-grandson, a nephew, a cousin, a brother.

He was born early Monday morning, November 21, 2005. He was only at 14 weeks gestation. To some, he is a fetus, but to us, he was William. His heart once beat, he was most certainly a boy, he had a nose, mouth, fingers, toes, eyes that could blink, the ability to move, and so much more. He was a child we never got to know, a friend my son will never play with.

His father and grandfather led the services and they were just beautiful. He talked of the child and we sang a hymn I did not know, his oldest daughter ran to him and hugged his leg. The grandfather shared some words and the father shared a poem. Then the tiny little body was laid to rest in a tiny little hole in a tiny little 4″x2″x2″ treasure chest box.

My hair whipped in the wind, hitting me in the face so that I could not see. I didn’t mind. It was an easy way to hide the tears.

Still here

So unlike me not to update for four days, isn’t it? Well I was looking at my one year ago post and, well, I can’t not laugh when I read this.

Some real posts coming soon, I’ve just been sitting on them for several days, unable to write the words…

The Forgotten

So I’m sitting here watching The Forgotten, I haven’t seen it yet although I always thought it looked really interesting. Very interesting. Anyone seen this? What did you think?

We went to a wedding earlier this afternoon, one of my best friends. It is so weird to think of her as married. She was the one who loved to flirt and liked all the boys, so it is all just a bit strange. :) I almost cried when she walked out with her dad and then she winked at me as she went by and that almost really did it. She was so pretty. She is pretty. Always has been. The wedding was very simple, yet strange in a lot of retrospects. One thing is that the church is circular, so the stage is in the center and all the people sit around it facing it. So we saw the side of the couple during the ceremony. And when they came in, they walked all around the circle for the procession.

Vanessa & Bret's Wedding Ceremony

Vanessa & Bret's Wedding Ceremony Vanessa & Bret's Wedding Ceremony Vanessa & Bret's Wedding Ceremony
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‘Tis the Season

And so the insanity of the holidays has begun. I cannot believe the people that got up this morning before dawn to wait in line for a store to open. Or for those who even spent the night outside on the streets for the same reason! And as if that’s not enough, they get in the stores and absolutely climb all over each other and yell at each other and sometimes even break out in phsyical fights. All for a laptop or an XBOX or a cd or even stuffed animals. It’s absolutely nuts.

What makes today, the day after Thanksgiving, so special that people feel they must turn to these crazy measures? What makes this stuff, these toys so important? Furthermore, what has happened to our lovely Christmas holiday that people have to get so worked up about it? They have to get the perfect gift, have to make everyone “happy.”

Why can’t we just be happy with what we have, why can’t Christmas just be about seeing family and spending time together, celebrating a special day? Why must we worry about how “festive” the house looks, or if little Johnny gets his Playstation or if little Sue gets her EasyBake oven that she just has to have? Why is it we can’t tell our kids “no” or even “wait” anymore?

Why must we be pelted with ads about Christmas from October on? Why must it be drilled in our brain that we have to go out shopping the day after Christmas? Why must these materialistic types try to ruin Christmas for the rest ofus?

I really don’t get it. I don’t get it at all.

‘Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

and my house was crazy!!

Steve was marinating the turkey and I was getting the kid ready for a bath. The water is running and he’s trying to get himself out of his onsie/jammies. I run into the living room for bath toys he’d drug in just minutes earlier only to catch the stupid dog peeing on my rug! I yell at the dog, my arms full of clothing and toys and he runs towards his bed leaving a line of pee behind him. I’m trying to get him to quit and get outside so then the trail went from his bed, also, into the middle room to under the kitchen table. So Steve starts freaking out and we’re both trying to get the dog out and keep the kid from walking through the trail. And the water’s still running. And I take the dog outside now and Steve’s getting the mop and stuff out and here comes the kid. He comes down to the glass door where I’m standing and tries to open the door. He is now naked except for his diaper and the pj’s wrapped around his ankles. But yet, in his mind, it’s perfectly okay for him to come outside to the 32° air. :|

Then Thanksgiving morning, I walk outside to where Steve is preparing the frier for turkey frying and I notice that my garage now smells like a Chinese restaurant. I go inside again and to the basement and when I get to the bottom of the stairs, I think, “OH. MY. GOSH. WHAT. DIED!?” Then I notice it – the sewer backed up into our basement. Water was bubbling up from the drain. I run and get Steve. We can’t figure out what happened, this has never happened before. Now I’m expected to pull stuff out of the water and either clean it or pitch it. Steve tapes together a broomstick and an old, cheap mop and goes outside to the sewer vent. He shoves it down there and whatever was clogged went bye-bye and the sound of rushing water is a great relief. Now it’s time to clean up the basement. I got to throw out half a box of new Priority Mail boxes. :|

Then Thanksgiving evening at my mom’s, her stupid poodle bit Elijah. No blood, thankfully. But apparently we all thought Elijah was in a different room and he approached the dog in the dark and she’s old and acts like she’s got something stuck up her bum, so… yeah. Also, I hear the latest family gossip. Protected post to come. :|

We arrive home at 8.30pm in 29° weather to a 55° house that still smells like Pine Sol. We drop Steve’s truck at the dealership down the road. In the morning he will take my car over and leave it and then take his truck and go to work. This solves the problems of getting me and Elijah up at 5.00am to do this and the fact that the carseat does not fit in the truck. The poor guy a the gas station on the way home when I needed a soda, he was so bored. So bored he was pacing in the station when I came in. Poor guy. :|

There was a baseball mit in our yard tonight. Not at the borders, either, smack dab in the middle near the wood pile. What’s up with that? It’s in good condition, too, doesn’t look like a dog carried it here or something. Crazy neighbor lady probably told grandkids it was okay to play in our yard when we were gone. :|

What a day. :)