spoken for

Maybe it’s the Italian in me, but I think I make some dang good spaghetti sauce. Maybe it’s just my ego. Either way, here’s how it’s done…

A Blogger’s Spaghetti

First you have to have some meat. What good is spaghetti sauce without meat? Sure, there are some people who don’t like it, so okay, if you don’t want to have any fun, leave this part out. This is best accomplished with ground deer meat. Most people would cringe at that. Okay, use some cow instead.

Cook it in a pot. Yup, it’s that simple. Be sure to add plenty of garlic powder, salt, and oregano. Oregano is best if added while you cook the meat. If you can’t smell the garlic powder, oregano, and salt mixture in every room of the house, well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not doing it right.

Also, while the meat is cooking, you must be able to fend off an almost-two-year-old. Be sure to keep him out of the dog treats after he gives the dog one or the dog will end up looking like a cow with short legs. Keep him from picking up the gallon of juice that won’t fit in the fridge, or he might get a hernia.

When the meat is finished cooking and the house smells like an Italian diner, add two cans of tomato sauce. This is cheap stuff you can find in any grocery store. Now, not that icky tomato paste junk, just two 15 ounce cans of the sauce.

Get one of those small cans of mushrooms, add about 75% of them, eat the remaining 25%.

Stir it all up and add a lid to the pot. If you don’t add a lid… trust me, you’ll regret it later. Put it to simmer or lightly boil, depending on how much of a hurry you’re in.

Put the almost-two-year-old in his high chair and give him some spam. Because, you know, he actually likes that stuff.

Now go blog for 20 minutes about stupid stuff like making spaghetti. You can make this step last up to 45 minutes, if you want your sauce thicker. Just don’t let it burn!

After the allotted time is up, turn the burner on the lowest it will go, just to keep it warm. Boil your water for the spaghetti and cook it as the instructions tell you. This sauce is best served with angel hair pasta. Mmmmm.

Finally, call the spouse for supper and watch as he gulfs it down in a matter of minutes, kisses you, then runs out the door. Then go kick the dog for stealing food from the almost-two-year-old.