So I already annoy Owen with this but I never posted about it here because this main person not only visits here but has my “usual” password. I didn’t want to have to endure requests from her about a different password. But now that I have that post level plugin, she’ll never know what she’s missing since I control the levels and she’s currently a 0. So if you’re reading this, you have a level of 2 or greater. :)
This is probably going to end up being a bit long, so bear with me… And note that anything I say that pertains to race is not meant to be taken in a racist way. If you’re reading this, you should know me well enough to know that I’m not like that. But sometimes there are correlations…
Background Info:
Back when I was hosting here at SF I got a hosting request by someone who called themselves Hannah, not an uncommon thing, so I pointed her to my application form that wasn’t linked from anywhere. I hosted her and she was all set-up when she posted in her blog that she was going away to school and probably couldn’t update more than twice a month, or something like that. I emailed her and said that it was unacceptable, my rules state that you’ve gotta update at least once a week because I’ve had too many dead sites sitting around and that drives me crazy. She replied telling me that she didn’t need my hosting afterall. Site deleted, end of story, right?
Wrong. Not long later I got a hosting request from Girl #2 at the application form. It ticked me off because I knew she had to have gotten the address from Girl #1 and so I replied that she hadn’t followed the rules (she hadn’t) right off and where did she get the address? No answer.
Time passes and Girl #4 posts a comment at almost-there.net asking to be hosted. (Yes, I realize I skipped #3, this is because I didn’t match up #4 with the others until after #3 came along.) I replied that I was not hosting at this time. No reply.
Later… Girl #2 comes back, only I don’t realize yet that she is Girl #2. She sent me two mailforms from holifieldweb.net. The first one asked for hosting to which I replied I was not hosting. The second wanted a design made for a hosting company. I hadn’t answered that one when she hit me up on MSN. Yes, bad, Val, bad for posting your MSN name on the internet! So anyway, she messages me and asks if I got her email. Well, sure I did. And, no, I cannot make you a free design, I do enough already for church and whatnot, design costs money. Oh, it costs money? Apparently she didn’t know that, she thinks everything is free. Oh, well, she tells me, she was just asking “for a friend.”
Girl #2 continues to talk to me on MSN and eventually talks me into buying her a domain name. Yes, I KNOW, bad, bad, bad me. I also hosted her on my reseller for a 15MB plan. She originally asked me if I could “donate” $2.88 for a .info from namecheap or something er other. I gave in but bought her a .net from GoDaddy because I do all my domain business there and do not want to start a new account at some company I never heard of.
She’s not hosted with me but one day and Girl #3 shows up. She also fills out a holifieldweb.net form and asks for a domain name. She also contacts me on MSN. I tell her that a domain is $10 and this time I stick to it. She begs, she pleads, etc.
Girl #2 sends me a message and email with a conversation between her and Girl #3 in which supposedly Girl #3 complimented #2, then asked for hosting, then asked her to get me to get her a domain, then when denied cussed her out in Malay. See, this is where we start getting into the race thing. I can’t know what was said or what wasn’t said in the other language.
First I’m kind of ticked off, but then I start to get angry because the pieces are falling into place and it’s becoming clear to me that Girl #2 and Girl #3 are the same person. I’ve since forgotten about Girl #1 and Girl #4, they are not bothering me.
I stew over this and after going through archives and looking at IP addresses on emails from the mailform and from comments left at SF — oh yeah, did I mention that they’re also coming to SF? That’s at least three domains at this point. Anyway, after going through all of that, I come to my own conclusion that they are indeed the same person and I confront them with it one night. I tell them that their IPs match also with Girl #4 and Girl #5. Oh yes, I forgot about Girl #5. She sent me a form or something, too.
Of course, they both deny it and they claim that they are in the same internet cafe in the same town in the same country on the other side of the world from me and that all the computers in there share the same IP address. I’ve got them both in an MSN conversation with me and they even go so far as to say, “what computer are you at?” and go to “meet” each other and say, “I saw her” and “I saw her, too.” And she looks like… blah blah blah. Like that proves anything.
But after I talk to Owen about it, he says it is possible that they have the same IP address. So I’m starting to feel bad for accusing them of it. But then other things keep adding up. For one, Girl #2 sends me a screenshot of something one night and down in the task tray are two MSN icons: one for messenger and one for Windows Messenger. I’ve seen this before… when Windows Messenger and MSN Messenger are installed on the same computer, you can be signed in with two different names at the same time. I know this because for a while there on my in-laws’ computer, Windows Messenger would not leave and Sheila’s password got saved somehow and it kept signing her in when someone else was on the computer on the regular MSN and Elizabeth was getting really pissed off about it so I had to find a removal tool. Just like spyware Windows Messenger is.
Anyway, that and other things have just convinced me that this one girl is trying to play me for what is now FIVE people. Yes, there is a Girl #6!! After I realized that they were getting my MSN name from holifieldweb.net, I removed it. Now it’s only the email form. Last week, out of the blue, Girl #6 adds me to her messenger list. Now, I could have sworn that Girl #2 told me she had a new screen name or something like that. But it doesn’t matter because the names are almost identical. I mean, duh. They keep using the same screen names and “real” names. I mean, seriously, there have to be more than two names that people in Brunei have!
So anyway, my whole reason for getting into this tonight is because Girl #6 has started asking me for a site now. She wants a domain name and can I get her a .info from namecheap for $2.88? And why are domains so expensive, she wants to know ($10). And will I make her a design for something-er-other site?
And NOW, Girl #1 is back! She leaves me an email, straight to unrighteous and says:
I now need hosting. My owner deleted my site and didn’t want to host
me. Please host me again.
And that’s it. No signing it, nothing.
So I sit on it for 4 days, knowing the answer and then I reply back with a no on May 10.
Then today I get another email from Girl #1, this time at holifieldweb.net’s mailform that says:
Can yuo make me a design? I need it for a neopets site. Email me about your response please. Please note that my MSN account is blahblahblah.
How should I answer that? Should I just say “no” or should I say “how much you willing to pay?” or should I say “here’s the cost, take it or leave it?” Or I’ll bet Owen tells me to just ignore it or to tell them my house’s on fire or something. :)
WHOA… I just took another look at that email… the IP address is the same as all the others! Grrrr.
OH! And now I remember back to when Girl #1 first showed up. Supposedly she had a sister who also requested hosting from me and they confused me because they used the same email address. But now, of course, it may have just been the same person.
No. No. No. NO. NO. NO!! NO!!! GO AWAY!!
They are just driving me crazy!
And don’t think I’m not starting the whole block thing. I blocked that whole batch of IP addresses (like xx.xx.xx) from almost all of my sites… holifieldweb.net so they’d stop sending me mailforms, almost-there.net because they were signing up there and actually trying to post (yeah forgot to mention that, Girl #2 and one of the others signed up there because I didn’t realize signups were turned on and then she actually tried to post, she wrote: “I have just started posting here thanks to almost-there[dot]net.” Um, no you haven’t. I deleted the logins and post draft), blocked them from elijahhenry.org, stegenevieve.net, and all sites that I design but do not own. This is because they are linked in my portfolio deal but as soon as I figured something fishy was up I thought it best to block them because the last thing I need are clients wondering why they’re getting hosting and domain name requests!
But then, they complain…
Out of the blue one day, Girl #2 asks me if I will unblock holifieldweb.net. Why? Because - get this - her dad (supposedly the owner of the internet cafe) will get mad if customers complain. Why the heck should I care? It’s my dang site. But I gave in, because I’m that way. Tonight she asks me what’s wrong with elijahhenry.org? Nothing. Well, I’m getting a 403. Oh, well I’ll take a look at it later, why do you want to go there? I can’t help but read, I like it. So the softie in me gives in again. I refuse to unblock any client’s sites though.
So I’m wondering what to do next. I feel like I’m being stalked! Because even if they are all separate people, it’s kinda freaky how 6 people would find and send hosting/domain name requests to three of my domains. #6 was just absolutely shocked tonight that I charge for domains and design and asked me, “are you a commercial person.” Damn straight. Gotta make a living, I told her.
I’ve considered changing my MSN name and just telling the people I like, which is mostly people I really know, except for you few special online friends. But I don’t want to do that again, I had to do that when I got rid of the dialup and that old Yahoo address. Oh yeah, these girls have also added me to their Yahoo lists (two of them). My Yahoo is the same as my MSN.
Okay so maybe I need to take lessons from Owen on how to be unapproachable. I’ve always been told I’m too nice. Even now, C is telling me that she can’t believe a certain someone is being a you-know-what, “after all you’ve [I've] done for her, and you’ve done a lot.”
Ahhhhh this was way longer than I meant it to be, but I guess if I’d been posting about this all along it wouldn’t have been like this.
So, suggestions on How to Lose a Stalker in Ten Days? Preferably sooner.
You’ve got to lie.
Make up a new page (a really shoddy one) that talks about how you’ve given up hosting for good because your server died and you can’t afford a new one. Write about how you are going to have to move back in with your mom, and sell your computer to pay for the “medicines” (be sure you spell it like that) that she needs. And so you can’t host any more even if you want to.
Then create yourself a mod_rewrite rule that takes the entire country of Brunei and forwards it to that page, and ignore any email that they try to send you.
If you can work it, configure your sever or email program send back “bounced” email, as if you don’t exist any more. And turn on the squelching on the IM to keep from having to hear them. Whenever they request you as a contact, just say “no”. Force people to make contact with you through email before adding them to your IM list. Note that since you won’t be reading their email, you won’t be adding them to IM.
Forget about saying anything like “I don’t want to host you”, because they just don’t seem to get it. Live in their (Is there more than one?) world for a moment and tell them what they would expect to hear fromsomeone who has no chance of ever hosting them.
And don’t be soft, you softie.
Hey… are you saying I’m unapproachable? ;)
Seem like you’ve run into a real stalker! Now you have to turn on your angry face and keep saying no until “they” give up; it is a good thing to be nice to other people, but it has it’s limits.
If “they” don’t want to pay tell them to use Blogger or something like it; there are lots of free stuff out here - if they really just want a blog (or something) and a host….. But you can’t do business with them and get stuck with the bill! (Let google to pay :D)
Hope you are able to shake them off - you always has Owens method…. ;)
*hugs*
anneberit
Stalkers are no fun. The thing to do is be proactive, and try not to let emotions get involved. We all need a “heartless bitch” switch, the world would be so much easier to cope with then. Yup. If I were you, I would re block them from your sites, and ignore them. Probably bounce their emails, and to an extent I agree with Owen…going for the firm, I had to sell my computer for medicine tact. Then again I am fairly tactless :s
Hey Valerie I have been meaning to ask you how the stalker situation was going! It seems to have gotten worst than before. :( You did a clever move with the post level. You were afraid before about posting, I remember. Which isn’t right either, stalker-like people suck. MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!…. You know that always works. :) I agree with everything Owen said. It’s getting ridiculous, you were a lot nicer than most people would have been, and this “girl†or this group of people, though to me it sounds like one person, is taking advantage of your kindness. The can’t afford a 10 dollar domain so they expect you to give them anything they want for free, a and are shocked when you don’t, like you said. That’s not how things work, you have to support yourself Valerie. It’s messed up. Sometime if you do something nice for someone they get greedy and they want more. I have experienced this, quite recently actually, but not like this. Sometimes I do a favor for someone and they seem to think it’s a permanent thing. It gets old fast, and this person/those people have no right to stalk you like they’re doing, you deserve your privacy. :o The msn conversation doesn’t prove anything, that’s for sure. It is possible that they are all different people, but it does seem pretty suspicious. Even with the names and how similar they are, it’s just too odd. If this is one person she is one greedy person. Yeah, the girl for the neopets design isn’t going to pay, haha. Just stick to your guns, because they cannot force you to do anything you don’t want to do. You have to avoid them, which is where Owen’s idea with the bounced e-mails and the messengers come into place. I am really confused about how your site being blocked would make “his customers†mad… Do they mean unblock them so they can see your site? If that’s the case, it’s your site you don’t have to let people you don’t want have access to it. Gosh. Oh yeah, put me in line for the addresses! I could really do with some stalker people like them. Wooo! In conclusions, it is not right what this “individual†is doing, no means no, make sure you stick with that, it will make matters so much worse if you don’t. II think it’s a pretty good idea that you change your MSN name. I can see why you put yourself Away/Offline to avoid them, I have done this before. :P It’s a shame that sometimes kindness can do more harm than good, sometimes you just have to say “no†and be strict or you’ll get taken advantage of. It sucks, but that’s how some people are.
Do you know her usual IP adress? You can use your cpanel to block her IP address and creat a custom 403 Forbidden page that looks like a 404 page not found… I did that to my work’s IP address :grin:
Hey girl!
read this message yesterday but then my computer started messing with me…. so didn’t have a change to reply then.
Some people are just pethatic…… I mean if the webmaster of a site says no just accept it and look for hosting somewhere else!
Don’t feel bad about blocking the IP….. even if her story is true it shouldn’t be a big deal if those few computers and people can’t visit you’ve got plenty of visitors right!
About the msn thing… I’ve had that same problem with windows messenger… but there is also msn pologamy… which enables you to run two msn’s (or maybe more??) at the same time… so people can easily fool you on that one…..
Okay, so how do I do a redirect of a whole freaking country? :lol: *off to search for solution*
I guess I will start there…
Owen, YOU are the one who said you’re unapproachable! I just went with the flow. :)
And the thing I really don’t get - I signed online a bit ago not realizing she was online and she is and of course she messages me. She directs me to her blog and I’m reading and she has a friggin’ maid. Can’t afford a domain name yourself, but your family has a maid? What is this? :lol:
To bounce the emails… I would add to blacklist in Spam Assassin, right?
Heh, get this… she’s setting me up!
Girl #2 is asking me things like, “do you think 50MB is too much to give to a hostee?” While Girl #6 says things like, “I need 50MB of space and cPanel, do you know any1?”
:lmao: I am starting the blocking now.
Oh, this is stress you do not need. I hope you can get rid of the nasty, tenacious stalker.
You should send Goliath (the dog) after her…
Oh, yeah, that’s right. I am unapproachable. Mostly that’s an in-person thing, though. I think.
Did you figure out how to block Brunei? You need something like this. I’m not sure how accurate that it, since it’s a public project. There are more accurate commercial versions of their list available from other sites for around $50, but is it worth $50?
Wow..I have a lot to catch up on. =P
You’ve had a busy week it looks like so far. I go outta pocket for a weekend and bam! all sorta updates.
As for the stalkers, I’d personally say re-block their site. This internet cafe of their’s isn’t yer concern personally. If it really is an issue for him, I couldn’t possibly perceive why it would be. I mean, C’mon. boot em! Life’s to short to have stalkers…unless they have glowing ring pops…those kind are ok.
Just remember, Stranger’s need love to, and I’m stranger than most!
umm…honey…are you nuts?….i have three words…
JUST
SAY
NO!
It’s that easy…stop being a coward for goodness sake…u could have been rid of this/these person/people
a LONG time ago if u had just stood up to her/them…
Wow.. Poor Valerie! That’s just too scary! I’m pretty soft too, I can’t say no to people; it’s a curse! But I’ve learned to say no to things that are just down right wrong! And these people asking for free domains? That’s pain wrong! You just tell them, “I don’t want you at my site, I’m really sorry, I’m trying to be as nice as I can, but I believe that you and all those other girls are the same people, if you disagree, I’m sorry. For my safety, I will have to block you and all those other girls” Not bad, huh? Hehe, Please try something, if they keep bothering you, whap em with your newspaper a few times ^_~ Haha.
Bye bye! :)