I used to think my family was boring…
…but they’re a freaking soap opera. I know this now. I’ve realized that it’s not that they’re boring, it’s that they never told me anything.
You may remember the protected post I mentioned was to come, an update on “N.” This is that post. It is not protected. No longer do I care what they think, or would think, should they find this site. In fact, I’m considering ways to tell her off.
As background, N and V are my grandpa’s wife’s daughters. N is a year older than me, V is several years older. Both are married with one daughter, V’s is about 8, and N’s is four. My grandpa’s wife died in September. My grandpa is well-off. N and V have been taking advantage of him all along and now they’re really at it now that his wife is not there to give them everything their heart desires. My grandpa was only married to their mom for ten years before she died, so it’s not like N and V were little kids when they got together and V has never lived with him. Remember that. And note that though N is married, she’s living with some new guy now - while her husband is in the hospital dying from luekemia. Dying. The man is dying. And she’s pregnant by this other guy now. A security guard from the hospital.
Also, remember the funeral that was a circus because of these two? They behaved so badly and made complete scenes every chance they could get. They played a video that wasn’t about the deceased at all, but about them. V gave an intro to the video, somewhat of a eulogy (definition: A laudatory speech or written tribute, especially one praising someone who has died) that ended up being all about my grandpa - saying that he cared for N and V like they were “his own.”
Now, since the funeral, here we go - I hope you’ll stay tuned for this. This, my family a literal freaking soap opera.
Okay so you know that N is now pregnant by this guy she shacked up with while she was supposed to be with her husband in the hospital, the man who is dying. We all find out later that all this time she was saying she was going to the hospital, saying she couldn’t take care of her daughter because she was going to the hospital, she was really going with this guy to a sleazy motel. Literally.
I have recently found out also, just how far her… indescretion… goes. Years ago she even slept with my cousin’s boyfriend, father of my little cousin. My cousin tells me that’s the biggest reason those two broke up (that and he turned out to be a bum, she’s better off without him). And I say “slept with” to be nice because apparently they were in my aunt’s swimming pool. I know TMI. There was a lot more to that story, but that’s the gist of it. N knows no bounds. No bond is sacred to her. Apparently.
So now she’s pregnant. The only good thing about this is that she has finally moved out from my grandpa’s house. However, she and this guy now live across from grandpa’s business, so she apparently spends time there, a lot. He kicked her out of the house on the farm that she and her husband were “renting” from him - he is going to rent it to someone else now (so that’s good for him).
Both her and V are stealing from my grandpa. N took - just took - his credit card and charged herself about $80 worth in cigarettes alone, and then some gas and whatever else her little heart desired. She apparently stole a pair of $2000 diamond earrings from him, too. Now, granted these did belong to her mom, but they were something my grandpa bought for her, it was not something she brought to the marriage (she brought literally nothing to the marriage), they were not family heirlooms, so Grandpa has the right to do with them what he desires - be it sell them or give them to someone, etc. And most importantly, N did not ask for them, she just took them. Grandpa noticed they were gone and asked her where they were and she said something like, “they’re in my ears.” So then the day of the funeral - the day of the funeral - get that? The day of the funeral, V asked Grandpa where her mom’s jewelry box was. Of course, he didn’t tell her that he’d had to hide it from them in his truck. You may also remember, I think I mentioned it before, too, that N and V and all of their family decided to head out from the family meal after the funeral and burial and just go over to my grandpa’s house. Without grandpa. Without being asked. And they sat there, going through things while he was at my aunt’s with the rest of decent family. When he got back was when the jewelry box was brought up.
Now, grandpa’s wife was raising these little minature horses on the farm. She had about 19 at the time of her death, I believe. He’s sold about 9 of them now. He just can’t take care of them, wants to sell them all and be done with it. Well, last weekend when N was moving some stuff out of the house, she threw a fit because he’d sold one particular horse. She started crying and whining and saying that horse belonged to her daughter, and so did another one, and oh these two belong to V’s daughter. Grandpa’s all, “uhhh excuse me? Who says they belong to them?” She says her mother and he says well he paid for them, he bought them, housed them, fed them, etc. They belong to him and he’s going to sell them. Of course, the next day he gets a call from V who goes through the whole speal, too, saying he can’t sell certain horses. Now, when I told this to Steve, he was kind of surprised - said that grandpa told him a few weeks ago that V was helping him sell the horses. So I figure N just up and made most of that up then got her sister to back her up.
V called grandpa later, said she’d like to come to the farm and spend the night. Sounds like a set-up to us. I can see it now, the headlines: Greedy Woman Sues Old Man, Claims He… or Greedy Woman Fell and Broke Arm on Old Man’s Property, Sues… or Greedy Woman Goes Through Old Man’s House, Finds Way to Blackmail Him… etc. You get the idea. Not good. Now, for my mom or aunt or uncle or us or my cousins to go there and spend the night is one thing, but V is not blood, she never lived with grandpa before, she was already married when grandpa married her mom. Does it sound right to you that this woman who’s already trying to take advantage of him wants to come and spend the night alone with him? I didn’t think so.
The day of the funeral, V was begging my grandpa, “please don’t cut us out!” Of course, he says he did immediately. He’s updated his will. I don’t think they were in it specifically, but he had some thing set up for their mom should he die and I believe that it would default to them with her gone. He also changed all the locks at both houses (city and farm) and the code to the security gate (farm).
Thanksgiving day, N called my mom’s cell phone and said, “T, is dad there?” Of course, she wanted something. It was so petty I can’t even remember it now.
What makes me mad about all this? First of all, it pisses me off that they’re trying to take advantage of my grandpa. And along with this, it pisses me off that they think they’re owed anything at all.
At the funeral, the “eulogy” ended up with V saying things about how grandpa “loved them as his own” - that he bought them cars and put them through college. I know for a fact that in addition to presents, V and N got $200 gift cards every Christmas. Know what we got, the blood grandchildren? $25. Steve and I got $25 as a couple even. And you know what? We were grateful.
The last 15 years I’ve had to look at what N and V got out of my grandpa and early on I had to tell myself not to be jealous. Afterall, N never really had a dad and grew up on welfare, my grandpa took care of her mom and her. And it was hard. A few years ago, at Christmas, grandpa’s wife got extra gifts for “the women” and included my one older cousin (Steve’s age) but not me. Then she made this big show about how when “these’uns grow up and hold Christmas at their house they can get stuff, too” - I think maybe she realized what she’d done and tried to justify it. My feelings were hurt not because I didn’t get an extra present, but because I thought, is that what they think of me - as a little kid? Do I mean nothing? I was married for crying out loud. My older cousin is not married, she was just older. So I was still a little kid in her eyes and that hurt my feelings. And you know the really stupid part of it? She included me in the women group once. Not last year either. I think it was the year before the one I just mentioned. She did the women thing every year. What kind of sense does that make? I’m a little kid, then I’m included, then suddenly I’m a little kid again? Maybe that’s what hurt the most.
So anyway, as I grew up from the eight-nine-or-ten-year-old I was when grandpa first met this woman, I realized that what was important in life was being his granddaughter, not getting stuff. And it’s true. It’s the way I feel. What makes me mad about all of this, of course, goes back to no matter what he has and they don’t, they should not be trying to take advantage of him. Maybe if they’d acted like real daughters all along they wouldn’t have to act like this now.
But back to what I was saying. Never in my life have I gotten substantial anything from grandpa, never have I expected it. Neither me or my three siblings or my six first cousins on this side. Never have any of us even asked for anything. He has not bought us cars, he has not put us through college. Heck, he didn’t even do that for his kids. Maybe the youngest who’s adopted (was born when my mom was about 20) but he taught each and every one of them to make their own way. We E’s do not ask for handouts, we work hard. We earn what we have. We do not take advantage of people. And his kids in turn taught their kids and all of us have this attitude, we have NEVER asked him for anything. We don’t love him because of what he has or what he gives us.
Yet those two got SO much more than any of us, and we’ve never complained until now - and we complain because of their attitude and everything I’ve already said, that’s what we complain about. And yet those two try to get even more.
Grandpa’s just trying to get rid of them now, but they just won’t go away. I’ll bet V has talked to him more these last two and a half months than she has all her life before now. I know what they want, in the long run, I bet they think they can get the farm. Grandpa owns at least 800 acres and it’s nice land, he’s taken care of it and has developed it - building and stocking ponds, taking care of the wildlife, etc. The rest of us are resolved that we will probably never own that land, and though owning it would be really nice, it doesn’t run our lives, nor are we upset if we don’t get it. It will probably go, like the business, to my adopted uncle who has no kids and in many years everything will probably be sold off. What happens happens. I just want to spend time with Grandpa, know him, maybe get him to talk about some of our ancestors.
I feel so sorry for their daughter’s. V’s daughter is SPOILED ROTTEN and is put in all these “beauty” contests, and, um, well I won’t get into that. And N’s daughter - we all know how much she cares for her. Dropping her at her husband’s aunt’s or with her mom while she was supposedly seeing her husband at the hospital where he’s DYING. Or how about when her mom was in the hospital, how she dropped her little girl with my mom and then aunt and uncle who she didn’t know real well and she stayed with my aunt and uncle for over a week and did not call and ask about her ONCE, let alone go visit her. Who called to check on the poor thing? I did. I was going to take her to the zoo but the day before she went to stay with some of her dad’s family or something. She just uses the poor girl as a tool against her father. Her father who’s done nothing wrong but apparently get luekemia.
I know this is jumbled but I think you understand what I mean here. They are just royally ticking me off right now. There is SO much I want to say to them…
