Another Facebook repeat. Sorry :) It’s just easier to type something up once and point everyone to it rather than type the same story 100 times. :)

So, we’re home now. I’ve got myself on the couch, laptop in my lap, here we go…

In re-cap, yesterday morning my water broke. Today I am 21 weeks into the pregnancy, so you can see that the water breaking at this stage is not only a surprise but is not a good thing. We went to my doctor and saw the nurse practitioner. We had an ultrasound and were sent home to be on bed rest with a follow up appointment on Tuesday. I was not having any contractions.

Everyone started to get the news and friends started calling their doctor and nurse friends and eventually it was decided that I needed to go into the hospital. Steve took me to St. John’s early yesterday evening. I think at first that the nurses were a little apprehensive about us and the practitioner assigned to me kept acting like she didn’t believe me that my water had broken but that maybe it was this, or that, or this. She left the room, I cried, and when she returned, she was nicer, haha, then an exam proved me right. I also had another exam by someone else (apparently she was in charge of residents which means Val = tests subject) and had several ultrasounds. They transferred me to the antepartum department where I stayed the night. This morning we had another, more in depth ultrasound and had a consultation with a specialist in high risk pregnancies.

Basically, what it all boils down to is a very precarious situation. No one knows what is going to happen (of course) but there are several scenarios. He said that these next two weeks are the most critical. I am not allowed to do anything except get up to go to the bathroom and have a quick shower.

The first scenario is that I could go into labor in the next week sometime. He said that most likely if I don’t go into labor within a week, I won’t for several weeks. Pretty much, if I go into labor before week 24, the chances of the baby surviving are next to zero. I have been assured, though, that if, say, I go into labor and the baby is born at 23 weeks that they will at least try to save the baby. My fear was that they would say, “oh, she’s not even to 24 weeks yet, it’s a lost cause,” and not even try. Also, if labor does start, they cannot stop it. It would be different if the water wasn’t broken.

Secondly, we have a decision that if I make it to 24 weeks as to when I should be admitted to the hospital. I can go in at say, 24, 26, or 28 weeks. I would then be on monitors all the time where they would watch for signs that the baby needed to come now now. I would stay in there as late as 32 weeks. A baby born at 24-25 weeks, he said, has about a 50% chance of living. At 26-27 weeks, it’s better. At 28, even better. At 32 weeks, which is ideal and probably the maximum I could stretch this out, he said the chances of the baby dying are minimal. Not to mention, there’s the thing about developmental difficulties. There would be any number of life long problems that can stem from a baby being born too early.

Thirdly, I could witness a miracle and make it to 32 weeks and/or a different miracle in that she comes early but is without long term problems.

Then, of course, in there is also the possibility of infection. An infection would be very bad because, from what I understand, it would have already affected the baby before we know it’s there, before it affects me. If, I’m told, one day I wake up with a high temperature and tenderness in the abdomen, or what not, and if nothing is done, both the baby and I would probably die. I’m supposed to take my temperature every day and watch for that and other signs and if I show any, I’m immediately supposed to get to the hospital. They cannot give me antibiotics to even try to ward anything off simply because they wouldn’t know what they’d be treating and that by just giving random antibiotics can cause something else to pop up, etc.

Now, one thing that the two doctors presented to us as an “option” is basically an abortion. The specialist told us about a patient with the same situation last month who said that she had 2 children at home, is a single mom, and so she didn’t have time to spend 2 months in the hospital so she went to an abortion clinic.
That is NOT AN OPTION for us. I am almost offended that the doctors would even suggest such a thing but I know they don’t know me and part of their job is to lay out all the options and possibilities.

Baby is hanging on quite well right now. Every check of the heartbeat has been good and the last ultrasound showed that while there’s not a lot of fluid by any means, the baby had some in her stomach and bladder which is a good thing. I guess it means that there’s at least enough of it to circulate and do what it’s supposed to. The concerns about low fluid are, from what I know, twofold. One is that the lungs do not mature as they are supposed to (which would require steroid injections to me while in the hospital at that point as well) and also, the cord can come squashed against the baby and eventually could lead to the baby not getting nutrition and the heart stalling. Baby is also still active and moving quite a bit.

So, here we are, in a precarious situation, one I never dreamed could happen or even knew anything about. I think that I have learned a lot in the last day and a half. I also wouldn’t be surprised if this was related to all the blood I had in January (I have not seen any blood this time which is also apparently a very good thing). They never did know what caused the blood and this time they don’t know why my water broke so early.

But we are faced with those very real scenarios that could arise and we are not only faced with the possibility of losing the baby but with having a child with serious developmental difficulties both physical and/or mental. I don’t know what is in store for us but I do know that the end result will be God’s Will and that whatever it is, we will manage. But I also know that if God so desires, He can do the impossible and “plug up the hole” and have my body regenerate that needed fluid. The doctors say it’s impossible but I know it can happen. Just like I know that this may not end like I desire it to. I have my moments where I just cry because it’s like I have to have that release or I’ll explode and other times, I’m completely at peace and relaxed. I know it’s not going to be easy being confined to the couch for weeks upon weeks but I’ll do what I have to. Things will work out ok, heck, friends are already bringing food so we have something to eat. Steve is being wonderful, though I know it’s tough on him, too. And we have help with Elijah thanks to family and awesome friends.

Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, and other help. I got all your messages and I am so grateful that you all are taking the time to not only think of and pray for me but to stop and send me a message. It really means a lot.